Remake yourself

I loved to be praised and congratulated. I loved it when people pat my  back and say beautiful things about me. This and many more feel so good to hear and to feel and I just soak in it. 

But how often did I congratulate myself? Never.

No doubt, I overlooked or forgot myself when the light started shining on me. For someone with very low esteem I found self acceptance only when people accept me first and this made me work or act for the public because I couldn't love me or accept me unless they did. 

Well, this went on for a long time until I couldn't keep up any more.

All out and at rock bottom, I found my lost self with the help of my twin and decided remake myself.

I won't say theres an easy way because there's no easy way. The journey to complete change of life, attitude and character is not  broad, it's so narrow and only the brave challenge themselves to go through it, the brave just like you.

But it all starts with accepting you as you are FIRST

It all starts with accepting you as you are FIRST. 

You can not drive a car without first turning on the ignition. Mirror yourself and view your complete self and accept you as you are now.

Yes, if there's anything we wish to forget and completely wipe off, it is bad memories about ourselves, decisions and mistakes we have made. All these when bottled up inside within ourselves can haunt us in my many ways.

Recount your life and decisions you have made 

Look at yourself in the mirror. Recount your life, decisions and mistakes you have made. Remember also the good times and when you made the best choices and stay on that for a while.

Sometimes our views about ourselves is affected by our mistakes and bad decisions and not really the good things about us. For people like me it is a physical problem (not disability). I could not accept my face and my body and it affected me greatly. I thought I could drown it all by becoming the best and hopefully people would see my success and forget my face and body (what was I thinking?) And it worked but for a while. 

 

It took me so long to accept my amazingness and this was because I trained myself to live for the majority. My thoughts, actions and the reason I did whatever was for them, so breaking off from this addiction was remaking my thoughts, actions and decisions and most importantly, how I viewed myself. 

The journey begins

7 billion faces with 7 billion problems. That is also 7 billion unique amazingness!

But we all face different challenges at some point in our lives.

But you must know, your bad decisions doesn't define you but how you actively strive to make it better. 

How can you do this?

FIRST you must accept that you deserve another chance and you're going to take it.

So while my troubles began by trying to drown my low self esteem, to others people it appears in a different form, addiction, masturbation, anger, low self esteem etc. It's countless but not hopeless.

So I want to share with us 5 steps of remaking yourself but you must remember each step is a journey.

Step one; Accept what you have done and believe you deserve a second chance

Before you can remake your self you must first accept what you have done and believe you deserve a second chance regardless whatever you have done, whoever you have hurt and whatever you have said.

Why?

To remake yourself you have to own up to what have done, who you have hurt or what you have said and forgive yourself.

This is usually hard when you have ego or when you think you  have have done something unforgivable but in remaking yourself you have to accept what have done and believe you deserve a second chance. As said earlier you must also believe that your bad decisions doesn't define you but how you actively strive to make it better.

Step two; Take a decision

Now you have accepted what you have done and believe you deserve a second chance, it is time to take the decision. 

If you can will it, it becomes a reminder in your heart 

This decision can be anything at all, it can be to stop smoking, taking drugs, watching porn, controlling your anger etc. The essence of this is to will control over what is taking over your life negatively.

If you can will it, it becomes a reminder in your heart and that is the second step of remaking yourself.

But you must remember, starting this journey, you're not starting as you used to be but you're starting with  a reformed mindset and a new you emerging. 

Step three; Act on it

While this is the easiest to type and say of course, it is actually the hardest and this is because complete change revolves around action taking.

But you must remember, you have the will to do it and that is very important. It is almost like doing it because you have done it in your mind already but all you have to do now is do it in the physical and this is where the work is. 

Step four; Be consistent

Consistency is a very important key to the success of anything. 

You have believed, taken the decision, acted on it and now it is time to continue.

It is a journey and sometimes I assure you won't feel like it and you just want to quit everything. But you must know that whenever you feel that way know you're almost there and are actually making progress. An African proverb says the feet get tired always close to its destination.

                                                                     

Step five; Look at you in a new way

Now you are already remaking yourself, appreciate who you're turning into and love him/her.

It is not easy remaking yourself and going through a lot to be a better person and making new good decisions, you must acknowledge that.

Be aware of the victories you're winning everyday and encourage you when you fall. The journey of life is not easy but it can beautiful too.